OH GOD CRASH BANDICOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys Axle here! Sorry its been a wile with review. I was working on a giant omega review of the Donkey Kong Series from SNES to 64 but roms were not working right and I could not find any of the games under 12 bucks at my vintage game stores. Then I was sick for a week and it was just not fun trying to focus on pixels on any screen with getting that sea sick feeling, and finally Jester and I were part of a giant 16 on 16 TF2 match on Oct.30th, which was very fun and our glory to green team was left in tact!

Before we jump in, anyone remember that silly wombat looking thing Crash Bandicoot? and how he was Sony's Mario. You could not go to a game store, watch tv, or open a magazine without seeing that damn thing riding a cart or trying to tell you about another in house Sony game. They had a good thing going their for about 5 years with this guy, and its a damn shame his games went downhill faster then a fat kid on a trike after Crash 2, but were he to talk about the first one! let gets some!


The game its self is a pretty straight forward platformer using 3D backgrounds to its advantage,like running towards and away from the foreground. Most of the bad guys are killed by using a spin attack or jumping on them. their is a tiki mask power up that will take a hit for you, and if you collect 3 you become invincible for about 15 seconds. Their are also fruit and if you collect 100 you get a extra man and most of the fruit can be found in crates on in lines leading you to the end of the stage. Oh and watch out of the TNT crates, they will give you a 3 second countdown if jumped on or blow up in your face if spin attack is used

Now this game also boast 3 different bonus rounds, one of them is for getting a password or memory card save by collecting 3 Tawna in a single level, or collecting 3 Dr. Cortex heads in a single level to get 2 keys to unlock 2 hidden levels, and finally 3 Brio heads to get a gem that can get you to hidden spots in levels to get to other Brio heads to get more gem's so that you can get a alternate ending, oh and their are 23 gems and 5 of them are earned for doing a perfect round on some of the hardest levels in the game. On hardest levels, Boulder Dash is a dick of a level and i feel its the hardest one on the game, Slippery Climb is a close second.

Most of the boss battles are pretty easy and fun, the one I think will give people a hard time is Ripper Roo. The only way to beat him is to jump on TNT boxes as the float past you and time the explosion just right to hit Ripper, Oh and Papu Papu make Goombas look like a a fucking challenge.

Also ever wonder why Crash's full figured woman never reapers and we see his skinny sister Coco? Well long story short, too many boys were in the middle of their sexual awaking when Tawna came on the screen, parents complained about her full figure, so naughty dog pulled her from the series.

I also personally feel that this game is a damn good example of what next gen playing (in 1996) had to offer, I played this game more the Mario 64. It also started my rage about collecting busting my ass just to find stupid things that will give me 105%, but I do suggest spending the few bucks on PSN to download this fine piece of work. 4 out of 5

STAR FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guyz Axle here. I been having one hell a of few weeks doing a write up of a full series and not just one game, so instead of getting my mental blah blah blah, you get The King of Miami and Number 1 gator Rapist Jester! Enjoy his abuse in Star Fox!

Jester here, this is my first, hopefully not last, review of a game. before i get started reviewing Star Fox on the SNES, you should know that this game and I don’t have the kindest history. I played this game a kid and 15 years later, this game still gets the best of me. So without further delay, lets begin. Right off the bat, i decide to take level 2, because level 1 has brought horrid traumatizing memories to life, so a change of pace would help, right?Well, I failed. Level 1 here i come After many years of the graphical advancements of Star Fox 64, this game makes my eyes hurt. But graphics aren’t important to a classic like this. This game is possibly the hardest SNES game ive played since Super Empire Strikes Back. Getting through the first stage is a challenge by itself, but each level gets progressively harder. No surprise that i make it to the last level with one life left and die at the boss.

This game is not only incredibly entertaining, but incredibly hard, even on the easiest level. The levels are crudely constructed and there’s a seemingly endless wave of potential death throughout it all. All the shiny death and outrageous obstacles makes piloting skills key, not just being able to spam the fire button. Though graphics and sound are left to be desired, the gameplay and Falco’s comical garble make this game worth playing if your looking for some nostalgia and a really good challenge.

SUPER BACK TO THE FUTURE PART 2!

Oh yes this is my second game to review. why? besides BTTF is turning 25 next month and I wanted to play a good game. the LJN BTTF games made in america were just horrid, if you really want to make your eyes bleed about it go look on youtube or even look on the AVGN page, one more thing, i did not know AVGN did a review of this game before I started to play. I found out about SBTTF2 over a game on Steam one night. Review time

Holy Shit! I wish this came out to the US! The game follows Marty on his hot pink hoverboard as he tries to meet up with his son Marty jr. the first few boss fights are against Griff Tanner and from the future you head back in time and follow the movie pretty damn close. the game looks amazing and plays well. you control Marty wile he is on the hoverboard and it handles how i expect a hoverboard should. the minor issue i had was with the second fight with Giff i was able to hover left and right over water, and as we all know hoverboards don't work on water unless you have power!

I do really suggest that if you find this game out. last time I looked on ebay a Super Famicom runs about 200 dollars and the game is about 50, so its really a good collectors item and also good bragging rights over fellow nerds.

New Super Mario Bros. for the DS

The other day my wife went a bought up a bunch of new DS games for her enjoyment, one was the new Mario title and another named Chrono Trigger. Im review the Mario title over Chrono for 2 reasons 1.why review a game that every has nothing but good thing to say unless your comparing ports of it to the SNES edition and 2. Its amazing! Chrono over lets get to Mario

This new Mario was a Souther Goulash of the Mario games picking out the best and okay parts of it. The red coins and butt slam are back from the 64 Mario, I did like the over-view map and multiple level exits found in Mario 3 and Super Mario World, also the item save from SMW was back but I did not like how it would hold on to the "best" item in the game like if i got a megashroom i was stuck with it till I used it. Also on that the megashoorm was crap! it was fun the first time and that was about it after that you try to use it and either you A. get stuck on a chunk of the level or B. you shrink at a bad time and fall to your death.

speaking of things i did not like, the idea that if you play it straight on you miss half the areas that are shown on the world map! i had to look it up to find out that you have to be mini Mario or find a hidden exit in a ghost house. the new star coin set up was annoying as well if you got at least 15 and used them at the green toad houses you would have enough lives to never worry about seeing game over. the boss battles were beyond easy and most were quick to kill.

all and all I feel this game would be a good spot for little Jack or Jane to learn how to play platforms or even that loved one who has no idea why you scream in a mic at 11:30 at night to "kill that bitch baby" i give it a 7 out of 10 and a low replay of serious gamers